I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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