please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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