she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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