remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
