Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i think my cat just said my name.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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