You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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