I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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