she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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