TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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