try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
