did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
