i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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