just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
