My sheets look like a crime scene.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
