i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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