you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize