me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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