Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
