You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I need to sanitize my soul.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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