i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
