hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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