Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
3 2 1 whiskey
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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