I just cut my nipple shaving
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
