He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
