dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
