so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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