when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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