honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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