she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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