I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
