You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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