Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
