I got chris browned last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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