Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
