Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
