you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
