11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
