I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
