so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
