I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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