Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
