I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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