she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
