She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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