Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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