Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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