More tranny stories later!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
