You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
babies were throwing up all over the place
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
