New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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