its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
