Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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