shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
