she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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