Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize