in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
