i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
