I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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