i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
