You work out of a Hotel?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
