I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
