I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
