are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize