i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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